From finding out I was pregnant to giving birth and becoming a mom. This journey has been something I will never forget and cherish forever.
Finding out I was pregnant.
Finding out I was pregnant was a big shock in my life. I had been thinking about wanting kids in the future, but I didn’t expect it to happen this soon. I was about 2 years in on my recovery from my first psychotic episode. I was doing okay but was still feeling the aftermath of it all. It was even harder when my partner/baby’s dad was across the country from me. We were doing long distance at the time but did make time throughout the year to see each other. I remember the first positive pregnancy test I got and I couldn’t believe it. So I took one more. I then told my partner and my psychiatrist that I thought I was pregnant. My psychiatrist ordered a blood test that confirmed the pregnancy. Let’s just say it was a shock to me!
Pregnancy.
Pregnancy, on the other hand, was magical. My partner eventually moved in with me during the pregnancy. This was a huge relief and a weight off of my shoulders. I went on to have a very healthy pregnancy and felt supported throughout the entirety of it. I also did remain stable throughout my pregnancy, which was amazing. I was taking a small dose of an antipsychotic, which contributed to the success of my stability during pregnancy. I made sure to attend all of my prenatal, psychiatrist, and therapist appointments during this time.
Labor and Delivery.
My birth story is something I will never forget. So pretty much, I was in the hospital for 4 days in labor! I didn’t sleep much at all. The contractions were oh-so painful but by the end of it. I had my perfect, healthy, and beautiful baby girl. My life changed forever.
Momma life.
So here I am welcoming my new baby home and gettting thrown into the heat of having a newborn. Sleepless nights, diaper changes, crying, and feeding. Everything was happening so fast. I could barely keep up at first. My partner, now husband, was a champ. He pretty much took over and did everything because between the physical recovery of birth, the hormones running rampant, and my mood and mindset starting to shift. I was overwhelmed. I ended up having Postpartum Depression in the midst of all this. Becoming a mom did change me.
Adjustment to Motherhood.
Adjusting to motherhood was no easy feat while having to juggle my mental health. For me, the first 12 months I was discovering my role as a parent and mother. Figuring out how to do this thing called motherhood. I think the hardest part of it all was remembering to put ME first. Yes, I had to tend to all the needs of my baby, but if I’m not right, then how would I take care of my daughter? And then on top of it, I’m a first-time mom with no clue what to expect. So yes, things were hard, but it brought me to where I am in life now. I love and cherish every moment with my family. I wouldn’t change anything at all.
The journey of navigating motherhood and having Bipolar 1 has been the hardest, yet rewarding thing I have done.