About 8 months ago, I tapered off of my bipolar medications. At the time, I wanted the side effects from the meds to stop. I was feeling fatigued and like I couldn’t control my thoughts or emotions. I would describe it as a numbing feeling to the waves of life. I refused to stay on these medications that made my world feel boring and worthless.
After being stable for a couple of years, my doctor advised me that it would be okay to try coming off of my medications. The doctor did mention that there was a risk of relapse. 2 months in on no medications and I was feeling on top of the world and stable all at once. I felt free like I could express my thoughts, feelings, and emotions again. I finally felt a rush of energy pulsating through my body. I was feeling good. I didn’t need to take the very medications that kept me stable for years on end. I figured it out. I could live my life the way I wanted to. Until, slowly, but slowly, I started to lose the very control I thought I had in my life.
Note, that I am not a medical expert, but I would recommend you consult your care team before stopping any medications. I have provided a link that explains common reasons why people stop their meds and why it’s best to work with your doctor when making this type of decision.
5 Common Bipolar Disorder Medication Issues
Weight gain and feeling foggy or sedated are common side effects of bipolar disorder medications that sometimes lead…
As far as what happened after I stopped taking my medications, is a blog for a future post. I did have a relapse and a second manic episode in the 4 years I have been diagnosed with Bipolar 1. So, that brings me to the topic of “How Medications Saved My Life”.
- Stability
I have chosen to stay on my bipolar medications because of this very reason. Stability to me means, taking your medications even when you don’t want to. Waking up, and having the peace of mind that your medications are working. Having control of your life. Being accountable for your mental health. All things I would want and can do to keep myself stable.
2. Freedom
I don’t have to worry about what will happen when I’m not taking my medications. This gives me more freedom to do what I please in life. This means being able to handle the stress or anxiety that I have from everyday situations. Freedom to take care of my daughter, without worry. Freedom to be the best wife to my husband and so much more.
3. Benefits
In my opinion, the benefits of being on my bipolar medications greatly outweigh the side effects. I’d much rather be tired and have weight gain than be unstable. The benefits of my medications bring me more energy, motivation, less anxiety, and a calm, better version of myself. I learned a lot from being off of my medications and for me, being medicated is best!
Bipolar medications have greatly impacted my recovery positively. I enjoy myself more when I am stable rather than the unknown of when my next episode or mood shift will be. Medications are a part of my life for the long haul and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I honestly don’t know how my mental state would be if I chose to stay off my meds over the course of my life. I encourage you to listen to your body and do what feels right for you. Medicine has saved my life in many different aspects. I want to show anyone going through a hard time with their mental health, that it is possible to live a healthy, abundant life on medications.